so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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