Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
