He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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