I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
