Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
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