In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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