Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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