If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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