8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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