Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
