I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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