yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
