I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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