quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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