Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
