just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize