God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Me too!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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