Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
