Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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