Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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