from now on my penis is your penis
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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