also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
