i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
