I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
