That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
