i would punch a child for taco bell
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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