I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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