you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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