I faked an abortion last night.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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