well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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