I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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