I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
