Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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