I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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