he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize