I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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