I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
