physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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