One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
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Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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