Nicole vs. Life
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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