know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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