my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
