Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
