it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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