i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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