we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
