Your mouth is God's brothel.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
wow bdsm is so cute
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
