I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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