Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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