I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
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If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
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Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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