Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize