Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
