glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
