so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
